GRIEVING , UNDERSTANDING , ACCEPTANCE …POWER TO CHOOSE and DECIDE

The five stages of grief, as outlined by Dr. Kubler-Ross include denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Let’s take a closer look at each individual stage. First Stage- Denial and Isolation In the first stage, denial and isolation, a person denies to him or herself and to everyone around him that a loss has occurred. The person fights the reality of the situation by denying that there even is one. Often a person withdraws from his/her social activities and spends more and more time by himself. This stage can last for hours, days, and sometimes weeks, depending on the individual and the impact of the loss. Second Stage- Anger In the second stage, that of anger, a person is angry- angry at him/herself for the loss that took place, angry at the loved one who died for letting it happen and just plain angry at the world. On a rational level the person knows that none of what transpired was his/her fault but is functioning on a purely emotional level at this particular juncture. Third Stage- Bargaining The third stage is bargaining which can often occur either before or after a loss and usually involves bargaining with God. A person suffering may ask of God, “If I do this (or don’t do this) will you make the pain go away?” Or sometimes a person will say something to God along these lines, “If you make it not so, I promise that I will …” Fourth Stage- Depression The fourth stage is depression, and it takes place when the pain in the form of anger and despondency reaches its height and causes the grieving person to feel numb and deadened inside. The numbness leads to feelings of depression and usually a great deal of lethargy. Some people entertain thoughts of suicide at this stage. This stage is also the easiest to get stuck in. Fifth Stage- Acceptance The fifth and final stage, that of acceptance, completes the process. The mourning period with all of its roller coaster emotions begins to dissipate at this time and the grieving person is now ready to accept the reality of what has taken place. True healing cannot occur until there is acceptance of the loss. Once that happens, the person is free to move on The five stages of grief, as outlined by Dr. Kubler-Ross include denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Let’s take a closer look at each individual stage. First Stage- Denial and Isolation In the first stage, denial and isolation, a person denies to him or herself and to everyone around him that a loss has occurred. The person fights the reality of the situation by denying that there even is one. Often a person withdraws from his/her social activities and spends more and more time by himself. This stage can last for hours, days, and sometimes weeks, depending on the individual and the impact of the loss. Second Stage- Anger In the second stage, that of anger, a person is angry- angry at him/herself for the loss that took place, angry at the loved one who died for letting it happen and just plain angry at the world. On a rational level the person knows that none of what transpired was his/her fault but is functioning on a purely emotional level at this particular juncture. Third Stage- Bargaining The third stage is bargaining which can often occur either before or after a loss and usually involves bargaining with God. A person suffering may ask of God, “If I do this (or don’t do this) will you make the pain go away?” Or sometimes a person will say something to God along these lines, “If you make it not so, I promise that I will …” Fourth Stage- Depression The fourth stage is depression, and it takes place when the pain in the form of anger and despondency reaches its height and causes the grieving person to feel numb and deadened inside. The numbness leads to feelings of depression and usually a great deal of lethargy. Some people entertain thoughts of suicide at this stage. This stage is also the easiest to get stuck in. Fifth Stage- Acceptance The fifth and final stage, that of acceptance, completes the process. The mourning period with all of its roller coaster emotions begins to dissipate at this time and the grieving person is now ready to accept the reality of what has taken place. True healing cannot occur until there is acceptance of the loss. Once that happens, the person is free to move on

Advertisement